Sadistic Gang of Police Impersonators?

NYPD Cracks Sadistic Gang Of Cop Impersonators
8 Charged In Abduction, Torture Of East Coast Cocaine Traffickers
Threatened To Squeeze Testicles With Pliers
NEW YORK (AP) -- A sadistic gang of police impersonators abducted and tortured scores of East Coast cocaine traffickers, forcing them to hand over multimillion-dollar stashes by threatening to squeeze their testicles with pliers, authorities said Tuesday.

Me: I might have phrased it as a gang of sadistic police impersonators . . . you know, because it isn’t just the gang that’s sadistic, it’s the cops they’re impersonating. Although I hear cops prefer toilet plungers to pliers . . .

An indictment unsealed in federal court in Brooklyn charged eight men with robbery conspiracy, drug dealing and an array of other crimes.

Since the spring of 2003, the gang injured about 100 people while committing 100 holdups targeting large-scale traffickers in New York, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, North Carolina and Florida, investigators said.

The take: more than 1,650 pounds of cocaine worth $20 million and $4 million in cash.

The scheme "was breathtaking in the scope of its crimes and in the danger it posed to our communities," said U.S. Attorney Benton Campbell.

Benton’s breath must be easily taken away. Drug trafficking leading to strongarm robbery of major dealers? I'm shocked, shocked . . . .

The robbers, court papers said, "were particularly sophisticated in their tactics," often conducting surveillance on the drug dealers for weeks before arming themselves with handguns and making "a police-style car stop" in cars equipped with lights and sirens. Other times, the gang gained entry into victims' homes by identifying themselves as police officers, then holding entire families hostage at gunpoint for days on end.

No fair! That’s OUR gig!

The victims were handcuffed, bound with duct tape and subjected to various means of torture during interrogations, including "simulated drowning through repeated submerging of victims' heads in water for extended periods of time," the court papers said.

Ahem, I think we prefer the phrase “enhanced interrogation techniques.” I’m just sayin’!

One victim told investigators that during a 2005 abduction, two of the defendants "applied a pair of pliers to the victim's testicles and threatened to squeeze the pliers if the victim did not talk," the papers added.

Notes furiously being scribbled down at Langley and Gitmo.

Once the information was extracted, the bandits would retrieve large stashes of cocaine and resell it on the streets of New York.

Bronx District Attorney Robert Johnson described the crime spree as "a dangerous dance of alleged criminals preying upon alleged criminals, who themselves profited from the desperation of drug abusers."

How about an allegedly dangerous dance of alleged criminals preying on alleged criminals, allegedly, who themselves profited from the alleged desperation of alleged drug abusers?

The defendants, all from the Dominican Republic, were ordered held without bail after pleading not guilty Tuesday in Brooklyn. If convicted, each faces a sentence of 40 years to life behind bars.

Gee, wonder if these are the kind of jobs that Americans won’t do, hence the need for undocumented workers? Or, um, did they all have green cards?

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